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In this episode, Judy and her guest, Lynn Dornfeld, dig a little deeper into the new culture model from several different angles. What are the components to follow? What are the success criteria? What is a culture framework and why do people need one? A responsibility-based culture is as different as a ranch is from a 2-story house or a paleo diet is to a vegan diet and as different as punitive parenting is to leadership development parenting.
Episode Title: The New Culture Model
Questions to Ponder:
- What stands in the way of the culture transformation we need today?
- What makes people afraid or question the capacity to change this dramatically?
- Why is the new model crucial for our evolvement and to meet today’s challenges?
Quote: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space, and in that space is our power to choose our response. And in our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Victor Frankl
Episode Guest: Lynn Dornfeld
Lynn Dornfeld is a great friend and client who spent twenty-eight years in education. She recently retired as a Montessori educator in both public and private schools. Today, Lynn focuses on educating, empowering and supporting people in social and racial justice areas – including facilitating healing ourselves and living as joyful beings. Lynn’s five children were raised with the Adlerian philosophy promoted by Rudolf Dreikurs, author of Children the Challenge. She used this foundation while she was teaching at Montessori. She has strong faith in the individual within each person, and in helping each to make a positive difference. Lynn is working to change the world, one heart and one mind at a time.
Keywords: Spitting in the soup, Adlerian psychology, four core needs,
Episode Topics:
- Four core needs
- Responsibility-based model and support system
- Inferiority complex
- Engagement
- Beliefs and behaviors in control vs responsibility-based cultures
- Three relationships to manage to be an influencer
- You can’t say a real “yes” if you cannot say “no”
- Trustworthiness is foundational
- Psychological contracts
Four core needs: We all need to feel empowered, lovable, connected and contributing. People partnered up to affirm these for the people in front of you, then for Hitler, then for an enemy. It’s important to include practices that increase these and remove the practices that diminish these.
Responsibility-based model and support system: When this approach was used in a prison system, the recidivism rate (repeat reincarceration) went from 65% to 4%. We are all trying to get the four core needs met and we should not give up on people.
Inferiority complex: A term originated by Alfred Adler. Without certain types of conversations and conditions, people go into downward shame spirals, and uninterrupted struggles. Brene Brown is a modern speaker, author and leader on this same thing.
Engagement: Gallup continues to show that in general 70+% of people are disengaged to some degree. 55% are C minus people in their life and work. 16% are F (failing) people who are actively disengaged (costing time and money. The why comes from the lack of the four core needs and the resulting inferiority complex.
Beliefs and behaviors in control vs responsibility-based cultures: The shift is to:
- intrinsic motivation
- everyone is developed into a leader, no matter what their age or role
- slow down to invest into the development of self and healthy relationships
Three relationships to manage to be an influencer: We make the management of these three relationships a top priority. These include the relationships (in this order) with:
- ourselves
- our authority figures
- our peers
You can’t say a real “yes” if you cannot say “no”: This means that you have to work through issues where you go into knee-jerk reactions of rebellion without considering the need to be able to sometimes say “no” or negotiating another option from either “yes” or “no”.
Trustworthiness is foundational: Being willing to manage all the relationships in our lives to be a ’10’. Being a ’10’ does not mean being best friends, but it does mean resolving any issues of frustration.
Psychological contracts: This is when we come to relationships with ideas of what we are entitled to receive and what we are required to give. This leads to assumptions of who’s right and who’s wrong and then judgments and blame fly when they could be worked out. They can be resolved if relationships are priority. They are not nice-to-have but need-to-have. We need to have curiosity vs. judgment.
Resources
The articles You’re Not the Boss of Me, What Does I’m Right, You Are Wrong Cost? and the category of articles on Trust and our category on Relationships. There are many other things on our website, including surveys, training workshops, seminars, a copy of my book and over 200 articles, including a category of industry articles written by industry giants like Forbes, Inc, and Deloitte.