Honesty is the Best Policy – or is it?

Honesty is the Best Policy – or is it?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Failure of an employee to speak up in a crucial moment cannot be seen. This is true whether that employee is on the front lines of customer service or sitting next to you in the executive board room. And because not offering an...
Why Transparency CAN Become a Bloodbath

Why Transparency CAN Become a Bloodbath

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Killers aren’t always assassins. Sometimes, they don’t even have blood on their hands.”   ~ Ruta Sepetys, Author I once knew a school teacher who quit her job teaching 8th graders (which she loved) to work for my...
Managing Frustrations in a Frustrating World

Managing Frustrations in a Frustrating World

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Face challenges, fear, and frustration by seeking out knowledge and opportunities for growth.”  ~ Fanny Mairena Today’s leaders must be powerful without entering into the fray caused by frustration. They must refrain...
Discarding the Monster Box

Discarding the Monster Box

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“A man who picks up a cat by its tail will learn a lesson he can learn no other way.”     ~ Mark Twain Your business will improve if you remember some important facts. One is that we are all more alike than different. The other is...
Is Your Workplace Psychologically Safe?

Is Your Workplace Psychologically Safe?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“In general, only a child who feels safe dares to grow forward healthily. His safety needs must be gratified. He can’t be pushed ahead, because the ungratified safety needs will remain forever underground, always calling for...
Devil’s Advocate and Brutal Honesty

Devil’s Advocate and Brutal Honesty

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Never play the Devil’s Advocate. Your words could be the difference between success and failure in someone else.” Ingrid Weir Too often I hear people say, “I’m going to play Devil’s advocate now” to which I quickly reply, “Please...
When You Can’t Help or Fix A Relationship

When You Can’t Help or Fix A Relationship

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinDon’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus. ~ Unknown Sometimes we keep going to the circus because we don’t realize that’s where we are. Someone recently asked, “what...
The Courage To Be Disliked

The Courage To Be Disliked

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“When we least expect it, life sets up a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will...
If Not Punishment, Then What?

If Not Punishment, Then What?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinToxic Shame is a neurotic, irrational feeling of worthlessness, humiliation, self-loathing and paralyzing feeling that has been inflicted onto an individual through repeated, traumatic experiences often, but not always, rooted in...
Disengagement is Betrayal

Disengagement is Betrayal

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,...
Inadequacy: I Can’t, So Leave Me Alone!

Inadequacy: I Can’t, So Leave Me Alone!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” Henry Ford Ever know a person who feels like the human version of Eeyore? They assume “I can’t” and refuse to try. Their behavior communicates, “Just leave me...
Choose Helpful AND Harmless

Choose Helpful AND Harmless

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“It always seems impossible until it is done”   Nelson Mandela I often reflect on how many people are “checked out” at work, home, and school; they are suffering and barely surviving, rather than overcoming and...
Transforming Discouragement

Transforming Discouragement

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Inferiority feelings rule the mental life and can be clearly recognized in the sense of deficiency and dissatisfaction, and in uninterrupted struggles both within individuals and humanity.” Alfred Adler, Psychiatrist, 1870-1937 The...
Cover Story: Me Too: Unwrapping Abuse Systems

Cover Story: Me Too: Unwrapping Abuse Systems

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“An insight the size of a mustard seed is powerful enough to bring down a mountain-sized illusion that may be holding our lives together. Truth strikes without mercy. We fear our intuitions because we fear the transformational...
The Preponderance of Neglect

The Preponderance of Neglect

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Most organizations don’t fall apart as a result of one big blow. Most relationships don’t end because of one grand argument. Most lives don’t fall to pieces due to one sad event. No, I suggest to you that sustained failure...
What Does “I’m Right; You’re Wrong” Cost?

What Does “I’m Right; You’re Wrong” Cost?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Remember, we see the world not as it is but as we are. Most of us see through the eyes of our fears and our limiting beliefs and our false assumptions.” Robin S. Sharma “Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask...
You Make Sense & Deserve Compassion

You Make Sense & Deserve Compassion

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinEveryone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always. Unknown What if you knew every reaction (and even what you fear are over-reactions) you experience is based on legitimate reasons and deserves caring...
It Feels Real: Am I Being Punished?

It Feels Real: Am I Being Punished?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Children are great observers but poor interpreters.” Rudolf Dreikurs, parent educator, author and psychologist Why this feeling?When we were children, one of the ways we could create the illusion life was not careening out of...
What You Protect, You Make Weak – Empowering vs. Enabling

What You Protect, You Make Weak – Empowering vs. Enabling

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinRule of Empowerment: “Don’t do for others anything they can do for themselves.  Don’t say anything they already know.” Rudolf Dreikurs In order for people to live to highest potential, each has four core needs; to feel...
Shifting From Victim to Victor

Shifting From Victim to Victor

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Good people are not those who lack flaws, the brave are not those who feel no fear, and the generous are not those who never feel selfish. Extraordinary people ae not extraordinary because they are invulnerable to unconscious...
You’re Not The Boss of Me!

You’re Not The Boss of Me!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Trying to win a power struggle is like trying to win a nuclear war. You may achieve your goal, but not without catastrophic casualties on both sides.” Jamie Raser, Author of Raising Children You Can Live With   A man I know...
Redirecting Negative Behavior

Redirecting Negative Behavior

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“A misbehaving person is a discouraged person.” ~ Dr. Rudulf Dreikurs Are you challenged by poor behavior? Could it be discouragement despite appearances? What thoughts do you think, words do you say to and about them, and what...
8. Seeking Excellence: Are You All You Can Be?

8. Seeking Excellence: Are You All You Can Be?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny.”     ...
How Do I Deal With That Annoying Person?

How Do I Deal With That Annoying Person?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.” Mark Twain   You know that person who cracks a joke at an inopportune moment? Taps their pen on the conference room desk? Stands...
Why Are You So Mean?

Why Are You So Mean?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“People are not mean to us because they don’t like us, but because they don’t like themselves.” Jodi Aman What Did I Do To Deserve that?! You know those times when out of the blue, someone does or says something that shocks and...
The Dysfunctional Bunch

The Dysfunctional Bunch

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Creating chaos provides excitement for some people, especially those who are uneasy with silence, those who distract themselves from their own problems by focusing outward, those who feel empty inside and need to fill themselves up...
Who Do You Think You Are?!

Who Do You Think You Are?!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinEver encounter those people you feel like asking, “Who died and made you God?” You resist supporting them, thinking and saying anything nice about or to them and even if you don’t generally gossip, they’re the ones you’re most...
How to Emotionally Handle Terminations

How to Emotionally Handle Terminations

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinby Julia Paulus (referencing Judy Ryan and LifeWork Systems) SBM, March 2010 Getting fired is obviously difficult for an employee. But firing someone is also hard for owners and managers – probably one of the hardest things they...
What Does it Take to Build Trust?

What Does it Take to Build Trust?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinI’ve delivered many team building workshops to corporations, schools and parent groups in which I focus on the behaviors that build trust and those that don’t. One behavior destructive to any team is gossip and part of my program is...
The Biggest Loser

The Biggest Loser

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinThe show “The Biggest Loser” is very popular. In it we see men and women who are determined to make monumental changes and are willing to embrace new habits and significant personal discomfort to do so. When I recently...
No I Won’t, You Can’t Make Me!

No I Won’t, You Can’t Make Me!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinPower Struggles: Opportunities for Connection Yes, we all know what it is to be in a power struggle, whether it’s with a parent, child, spouse, lover, friend or co-worker. Power struggles are fraught with tension, anger and...
Dismantling Bullying Systems

Dismantling Bullying Systems

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin(The story in this article may be an example involving students, but the message for the workplace is just as relevant) “As long as victims and bullies see themselves in diametrically opposed positions, (and they will if we...