What You Rescue – You Make Weak
Rule of Empowerment: “Don’t do for your children anything they can do for themselves. Don’t say anything they already know.” Rudolf Dreikurs, Author, Children the Challenge In order for your children to live to highest potential, each has four core needs;...
Why Servant Leadership Can Sometimes Be Top Down
“The goal of many leaders is to get people to think more highly of the leader. The goal of a great leader is to help people to think more highly of themselves.” ― J. Carla Nortcutt, Professor When it comes to being human, no matter age, experience, title, or...
Can Love Be Here Too?
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” —Brené Brown As I work with clients on their personal and professional development or help friends and family who are working through issues, I find many people push...
A Time To Rise Up!
“She was fire and life. She was awe and starlight.” ― Nadine Brandes, Author, Fawkes “O my Courageous Sister! You have to become the beacon of hope for all women around you and then for the whole society.” ― Abhijit Naskar, Author The Bengal Tigress: A Treatise on...
The Path (Back) to Being Authentic
“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events. Great men have always done so, and confided themselves childlike to the genius of their...
It’s Never Too Late…To Create A Life You Love
“It is not always sunshine that splits the seed cleaving the armor, releasing the shoot. Darkness makes the heart’s case fragile. Pain breaks it open. Courage teases out the leaves and life unfurls and expands, thrusting upwards into light.” -Heidi Thomas, Call the...
Is Love More Powerful Than Hate?
“You are a child of God. You’re playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.” Marianne Williamson I often ask, “How many of you see struggles...
Breaking the Addiction to Approval
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” Friedrich Nietzsche Someone recently asked...
Devil’s Advocate and Brutal Honesty
“Never play the Devil’s Advocate. Your words could be the difference between success and failure in someone else.” Ingrid Weir Too often I hear people say, “I’m going to play Devil’s advocate now” to which I quickly reply, “Please don’t. The Devil has too many...
When You Can’t Help or Fix A Relationship
Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus. ~ Unknown Sometimes we keep going to the circus because we don’t realize that’s where we are. Someone recently asked, “what would you tell a person going through a...
Meeting Our Needs and Those Of Others
Our Basic Social Needs: Belonging and Significance Beyond basic survival, we all want to experience a healthy sense of belonging and significance through our four core social needs: to feel powerful, lovable, connected and contributing. These four...
Your Secret Weapon: Informal Influencers
To get these influencers to model the desired behaviour, you need their buy-in. Gather them together for a closed-door session and explain why their role is crucial. Often, it just takes an open conversation to help them understand the new cultural changes. If they...
If Not Punishment, Then What?
Toxic Shame is a neurotic, irrational feeling of worthlessness, humiliation, self-loathing and paralyzing feeling that has been inflicted onto an individual through repeated, traumatic experiences often, but not always, rooted in childhood. When shame becomes...
How Do You Know?
“When the student is ready the teacher appears. When the question is asked then the answer is heard. When we are truly ready to receive then what we need will become available.” John Gray, Author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus One of my favorite movies is...
When Winning Turns Into Losing
“How tricky is this ego that it would tempt us with a promise of something we already possess.” Jim Carrey My daughter, a practicing attorney, was recently offered a great job in a small boutique law firm and was enjoying the process of getting to know the staff,...
Emotional Presence: It’s Good Business!
“The affairs of the heart are directly connected to the brain and it’s theheart’s natural intelligence that must be unfolded for the brain to operate with greater efficiency.” Magical Child, Joseph Chilton Pearce, Plume, 1992 Imagine...
Loved AND Lovable
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Elizabeth Appell In my work, I help people take the risk to blossom. I tell business leaders, employees, educators and parents that all people have...
Be Your Most Imaginal Self!
“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” Proverb Consider the following ellipses from the books “Butterfly,” by Norie Huddle, and “Waking the Global Heart,” by Anodea Judith. Caterpillars are consumers that eat non-stop. They...
The Education Of Our Children
“Consider the kingdom you have made and judge its worth fairly. Is it worthy of a child of God? Does it protect his peace and shine love upon him? Does it keep his heart untouched by fear and allow him to give always, without any sense of loss? Does it teach him that...
Men & Women Leading Together
“In the end, what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr. I sent a TED talk to a male friend, entitled Violence Against Women; it’s a Men’s Issue, by Jackson Katz. I was deeply...
The Need for Patience & Reassurance
“It’s not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even – or rather, especially – when we’d prefer not to be.” Josh Radnor,...
Cover Story: Me Too: Unwrapping Abuse Systems
“An insight the size of a mustard seed is powerful enough to bring down a mountain-sized illusion that may be holding our lives together. Truth strikes without mercy. We fear our intuitions because we fear the transformational power within our revelations.”...
Choose You
“Most men (and women) lead lives of quiet desperation and die with their song still inside them.” Henry David Thoreau It’s difficult for many people, especially women, to choose themselves in their own lives and then they lead lives of quiet desperation. I have found...
Life Is Calling YOU!
“You are braver than you think, more talented than you realize.” R. Bennett I watched a documentary on the pyramids recently and learned something that made me hopeful while confirming what I have already felt intuitively. Despite appearances, we are moving out of a...
“I’m Sorry You Feel That Way” – “I Never Intended That…”
“If you own the story you get to write the ending.” Brene Brown “We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.” George Bernard Shaw Why It’s Never Helpful to Say, “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way…” or “I Never...
What’s Love Got to Do With It?
Whether we want to associate love with our businesses or not, the presence of love or the lack of it, plays a powerful role in our ROI. It affects our profitability, health, employee engagement, teamwork, customer satisfaction; all of what makes a business successful....
You Make Sense & Deserve Compassion
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always. Unknown What if you knew every reaction (and even what you fear are over-reactions) you experience is based on legitimate reasons and deserves caring attention and understanding...
Conducting Business From The Heart
When I speak of heart in this article, I am referring specifically to our heart’s purpose, inspired from within, deeply stirring us, leading us to take actions that matter most to us. In my work with clients, I find that many don’t have a clear idea about their...
Are You Feeling Merry or Blocking Your Joy?
“Joy is the most vulnerable emotion we experience. In fact, addiction research shows us that an intensely positive experience is as likely to cause relapse as an intensely painful experience.”Brene Brown, Author and Researcher on Shame and...
Power Over? Power Under? Power Within!
“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” Nelson Mandela I was born and raised in Ferguson, MO and recent events there have provided an opportunity to write on beliefs...
Building Caring Connections
“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Theodore Roosevelt “Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact on people, brings happiness.” Harold Kushner I frequently meet people who want to experience...
A Happy Community Works, Plays, & Serves Together
A Happy Community Works, Plays, & Serves. Leaders determine the happiness of their workplace community. When you think of a happy community, you likely picture good team players that pitch in, are positive and manage themselves well, including their relationships,...
What You Protect, You Make Weak – Empowering vs. Enabling
Rule of Empowerment: “Don’t do for others anything they can do for themselves. Don’t say anything they already know.” Rudolf Dreikurs In order for people to live to highest potential, each has four core needs; to feel empowered, lovable, connected and...
Key to Your Joy: Honor Your Sensitivity
“To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness…Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate.” Anthon St. Maarten, Author ...
Creating a Life YOU Love
“Selfishness is a virtue, unless you think it must come at the expense of others. And why would anyone think that? Oh yeah, that’s what all the people who don’t “get it” told you.” Mike Dooley My purpose is to cause conditions in...
It Takes a Village
“Everybody in a village had a role to play in bringing up a child—and cherishing it—and in return that child would in due course feel responsible for everybody in that village. That is what makes life in society possible. We must love one another and help one another...
1. Straightforwardness: Dare I Tell it Like It Is?
The most important relationship to manage is with our self. A trustworthy person practices honesty, straightforwardness, respect, receptivity, recognition, keeping commitments, seeking excellence and disclosure, the eight values that build trust. Straightforwardness...
3. Receptivity: Are You Receptive?
“Receptivity and sensitiveness are what makes one’s behavior endearing and enriching. Do not try to thrust your likes and dislikes on others. Try instead, to find out what those around would expect from you and where you can possibly contribute. Rather than...
5. Respect: Valuing Unconditionally
“Respect yourself and others will respect you.” ― Confucius This article on respect is the seventh in my series on the eight values that build trust. I always pair the word respect with mutual because one is not possible without the other. In my work with...
8. Seeking Excellence: Are You All You Can Be?
“Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny.” Aristotle Seeking excellence...
Why Are You Here?
“Believe in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles.” Roy T. Bennett, Author, The Light in the Heart You’re challenged by a co-worker, client, friend or child; you’re up against physical, social, financial...
Reasons We Gossip & What To Do Instead
“How would your life be different if…You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day…You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.” Steve Maraboli, Author, Life, the Truth, and Being Free Most people...
Why Are You So Mean?
“People are not mean to us because they don’t like us, but because they don’t like themselves.” Jodi Aman What Did I Do To Deserve that?! You know those times when out of the blue, someone does or says something that shocks and hurts you? In that moment, you’re...
Courage to be Imperfect
“Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.” Brené Brown Why are we the most addicted, medicated, overweight, and indebted society in history? Brene Brown, researcher, author and speaker on vulnerability, worthiness...
Who Do You Think You Are?!
Ever encounter those people you feel like asking, “Who died and made you God?” You resist supporting them, thinking and saying anything nice about or to them and even if you don’t generally gossip, they’re the ones you’re most likely to tear down (or rip apart!), and...
Are We Compatible?
Whether in business or personal relationships, a worthwhile question to ponder is what constitutes compatibility? I went to a lecture by Dr. Denbo, a local therapist, who posed this question. Most of the crowd said things like, “Common values,” “Common interests,” and...
Soul Mates
Like many of you, I’ve always wanted a soul mate – that wonderful partner who in their presence makes me feel connected and whole. The one who really gets me and who’s there for me through thick and thin, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in...
Better to Give Than Receive?
We often hear the phrase, “It’s better to give than receive” but is it true? The truth is, it just feels safer to give. Without equal ability to receive, a relationship is defined and limited by a certain amount of fear and withholding. I discovered the significance...
Connect to Your Light!
Recently, I took a self-imposed retreat to discover how to more fully operate from freedom, courage and joy. As women, unless the light of love is flowing fully in our family or in our intimate relationships, we’re not fulfilled because loving relationships are our...
Shift Enemies To Friends
Have you ever met someone you felt completely in sync with? Entrainment is a term used to express how the human body assumes a sympathetic response to stimuli much the way scientists have discovered that two heart cells put together in the same room begin to beat as...
Pause, Breathe and Check In
Thich Nhat Hahn, a well- known author and Buddhist monk says we are reluctant to visit the home of our self because we are loath to face the pain, sadness and fear we might encounter there. It’s true those emotions are often present. He also says that if we...
Reality & Realist: An Idealist’s Perspective
We give and receive negative behavior based in fear and doubt every day. That’s part of our humanness. Being an idealist in the face of this behavior doesn’t mean we act as if we’ve had a lobotomy or bury our heads in the sand. Being spiritual and...
I Want. What Will I Do?
What do I want and what am I willing to do? These are powerful questions that make up the internal dialog of those who have embraced intrinsic motivation; the process of identifying and expressing what one most loves. These are questions of courage, exploration and...
What & Why Emotional Intelligence
We hear a lot of buzz these days about the importance of emotional intelligence (EI). What exactly is “emotional intelligence” and why do we need it? There are 4 main components: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management....
Commitment
“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and...
Am I Selfish?
It’s important to ask, “What do I feel and what do I want?” When we neglect to take time to consider our choices we often commit self-betrayal, which then results in betrayal of others… A friend recently called me for advice. Every year her family eats a...
What You Look For You Will Find
One of the great benefits and challenges of growing up is choice – consciously exercising it that is! We are always choosing, we just don’t always ask ourselves what, how and why we are choosing. Our focus makes all the difference. I had a huge aha experience...
Did You Hear What I Meant to Say?
Have you ever thought you had an agreement or understanding with someone only to find you didn’t? You thought you were clear and direct in a request, and ended up disappointed. Or have you responded to a request, only to find someone frustrated with you? Could it be...
Dismantling Bullying Systems
(The story in this article may be an example involving students, but the message for the workplace is just as relevant) “As long as victims and bullies see themselves in diametrically opposed positions, (and they will if we don’t focus on the systems rather than...