Demanding Undue Attention
“There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.” Mark Twain One day a mother was visiting me and together we had seven children under the age of 7 for a play date. All the children were having a great time. That...
What You Rescue – You Make Weak
Rule of Empowerment: “Don’t do for your children anything they can do for themselves. Don’t say anything they already know.” Rudolf Dreikurs, Author, Children the Challenge In order for your children to live to highest potential, each has four core needs;...
Can Love Be Here Too?
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” —Brené Brown As I work with clients on their personal and professional development or help friends and family who are working through issues, I find many people push...
Shifting Social Power Relations
“To reflect upon the present as history is to understand that history may now be made by default. Understanding that, we no longer need accept as “necessary” the lesser evil. We no longer need to accept historical fate, for fate is a feature of specific kinds of...
Task Ownership
“The educator must believe in the potential power of his pupil, and he must employ all his art in seeking to bring his pupil to experience this power.” Alfred Adler, Psychologist Task ownership Task ownership is when a person is accountable to recognize and adopt...
The Absence of Punishment in Our Schools
While this article is about schools, the information on trauma-informed and why use of punishment and rewards are counter-productive, is relevant not only in schools but in all organizations and to everyone within them. As is our practice when posting industry...
Spitting In The Soup
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People are always motivated. It’s not anyone’s job to motivate others. People can control themselves. They can do what’s right and don’t need approval or shaming to do so. They don’t need to be enabled. The problem is we don’t have faith in people nor do we know how to effectively teach them to pick up responsibility for things that are theirs to own. When we learn to do so, others can become accountable, caring and fully engaged, making a positive difference in your business.
Engaging People In Life and Work
“Personal power is the ability to stand on your own two feet with a smile on your face in the middle of a universe that contains a million ways to crush you.” ― J.Z. Colby, Journey As a business leader, you don’t want to be one of those million ways to crush people....
It’s Never Too Late…To Create A Life You Love
“It is not always sunshine that splits the seed cleaving the armor, releasing the shoot. Darkness makes the heart’s case fragile. Pain breaks it open. Courage teases out the leaves and life unfurls and expands, thrusting upwards into light.” -Heidi Thomas, Call the...
Is Love More Powerful Than Hate?
“You are a child of God. You’re playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.” Marianne Williamson I often ask, “How many of you see struggles...
When You Can’t Help or Fix A Relationship
Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus. ~ Unknown Sometimes we keep going to the circus because we don’t realize that’s where we are. Someone recently asked, “what would you tell a person going through a...
If Not Punishment, Then What?
Toxic Shame is a neurotic, irrational feeling of worthlessness, humiliation, self-loathing and paralyzing feeling that has been inflicted onto an individual through repeated, traumatic experiences often, but not always, rooted in childhood. When shame becomes...
How Can I Motivate Them?
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams In my work with clients, I often hear, “How can I motivate this person to do what they’re supposed to? They’re lazy. They’re...
Be Your Most Imaginal Self!
“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” Proverb Consider the following ellipses from the books “Butterfly,” by Norie Huddle, and “Waking the Global Heart,” by Anodea Judith. Caterpillars are consumers that eat non-stop. They...
Transforming Discouragement
“Inferiority feelings rule the mental life and can be clearly recognized in the sense of deficiency and dissatisfaction, and in uninterrupted struggles both within individuals and humanity.” Alfred Adler, Psychiatrist, 1870-1937 The Current Dilemma It’s clear that our...
The Education Of Our Children
“Consider the kingdom you have made and judge its worth fairly. Is it worthy of a child of God? Does it protect his peace and shine love upon him? Does it keep his heart untouched by fear and allow him to give always, without any sense of loss? Does it teach him that...
Men & Women Leading Together
“In the end, what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr. I sent a TED talk to a male friend, entitled Violence Against Women; it’s a Men’s Issue, by Jackson Katz. I was deeply...
Cover Story: Me Too: Unwrapping Abuse Systems
“An insight the size of a mustard seed is powerful enough to bring down a mountain-sized illusion that may be holding our lives together. Truth strikes without mercy. We fear our intuitions because we fear the transformational power within our revelations.”...
Power Over? Power Under? Power Within!
“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” Nelson Mandela I was born and raised in Ferguson, MO and recent events there have provided an opportunity to write on beliefs...
Redirecting Negative Behavior
“A misbehaving person is a discouraged person.” ~ Dr. Rudulf Dreikurs Are you challenged by poor behavior? Could it be discouragement despite appearances? What thoughts do you think, words do you say to and about them, and what do you do when others: Annoy and...
It Takes a Village
“Everybody in a village had a role to play in bringing up a child—and cherishing it—and in return that child would in due course feel responsible for everybody in that village. That is what makes life in society possible. We must love one another and help one another...
How Do I Deal With That Annoying Person?
“There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.” Mark Twain You know that person who cracks a joke at an inopportune moment? Taps their pen on the conference room desk? Stands at your door while you’re on the...
Reasons We Gossip & What To Do Instead
“How would your life be different if…You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day…You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.” Steve Maraboli, Author, Life, the Truth, and Being Free Most people...
Are We Compatible?
Whether in business or personal relationships, a worthwhile question to ponder is what constitutes compatibility? I went to a lecture by Dr. Denbo, a local therapist, who posed this question. Most of the crowd said things like, “Common values,” “Common interests,” and...
Soul Mates
Like many of you, I’ve always wanted a soul mate – that wonderful partner who in their presence makes me feel connected and whole. The one who really gets me and who’s there for me through thick and thin, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in...
Longing for the Good Old Days?
“The good old days were never that good, believe me. The good new days are today, and better days are coming tomorrow. Our greatest songs are still unsung.” Hubert Humphrey “Why can’t we go back to the good old days when people knew how to behave?!” While I was...
Better to Give Than Receive?
We often hear the phrase, “It’s better to give than receive” but is it true? The truth is, it just feels safer to give. Without equal ability to receive, a relationship is defined and limited by a certain amount of fear and withholding. I discovered the significance...
Connect to Your Light!
Recently, I took a self-imposed retreat to discover how to more fully operate from freedom, courage and joy. As women, unless the light of love is flowing fully in our family or in our intimate relationships, we’re not fulfilled because loving relationships are our...
Shift Enemies To Friends
Have you ever met someone you felt completely in sync with? Entrainment is a term used to express how the human body assumes a sympathetic response to stimuli much the way scientists have discovered that two heart cells put together in the same room begin to beat as...
What & Why Emotional Intelligence
We hear a lot of buzz these days about the importance of emotional intelligence (EI). What exactly is “emotional intelligence” and why do we need it? There are 4 main components: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management....
Organized Chaos on Purpose
As a child deeply in love with nature, living on the edge of a park, and the 5th child of 6, I knew a lot about chaos, the beautiful, free, creative and exhilarating kind. Starting out free to explore, school at age 5 felt like bitter confinement and at times crushing...
Connection: From Chaos to Community
Connection is to humans what water is to fish; a key to our existence and a cornerstone for our behavior. We are social beings and from infancy we make decisions and set goals in response to our social framework. In community, we make interpretations, then decisions...
Dismantling Bullying Systems
(The story in this article may be an example involving students, but the message for the workplace is just as relevant) “As long as victims and bullies see themselves in diametrically opposed positions, (and they will if we don’t focus on the systems rather than...