“You can be cured in fourteen days if you follow this prescription: Try to think every day how you can please someone.”
Alfred Adler, psychiatrist. His advice to depressed patients, as quoted by Dale Carnegie
Individualism, especially the rugged variety, is often touted as the most noble state to be actualized in a person. I disagree. Caring, trustworthy and supportive connection with others is of greater value and results in courage, confidence, wellbeing, and optimism. That’s not to say that healthy individualism and self-reliance are not important at all, but toxic individualism is based in separation and personal striving rather than connection to the greater community. At its extreme, toxic individualism rejects inter-dependence, fosters aggressive competition, and causes people to engage in endless efforts to prove themselves, acquire and consume too many resources, and relentlessly focus on personal gain, at the cost of others, the environment, and even their personal peace. This has an impact on everything, including your business.
Toxic individualism is appealing because it idealizes control, freedom, and self-determination. Yet it leads to disconnection, loneliness, insecurity, and a relentless desire for status, accumulation, and adulation. In today’s world, with our frequent focus on self-made success stories, many people suppress vulnerability, empathy, collaboration and intimacy. In the documentary “I Am” Tom Shadyac, a famous movie producer, asks world known, wise gurus what is wrong with our society and what should be done. One thing that stood out to me is the definition indigenous Americans had for mental illness; the acquiring and keeping of more than one needs or can use. A lion kills and eats a gazelle. It does not kill more than one. Toxic individualism is mental illness.
Many wonder, “Why should I care about others? They don’t care about me.” That way of thinking is at the root of all stress and struggles within and between people. We don’t really see the costs of this in these people. The person who is not interested in others has great difficulties and causes the greatest harm to one’s self and others. Adler urged people to do a good deed every day; one that brings a smile to another person’s face. When people wonder, “What’s in it for me?” I say, “Deep joy, fulfillment, meaning, and pride in yourself.”
To break out of toxic individualism, each person must embrace social interest, recognizing the consequences being caused to others and choosing to make them positive. Toxic individualism negatively impacts the mental, financial, emotional, and social health of people and organizations. When overcome, then self-expression, personal growth, and autonomy are honored within and between people. Trust, mutual respect, cooperation and shared purpose are consistent. Resilience, happiness and meaning increase because people are contributing talents and gifts to others and the world. Connections are valued and systems of individuality are balanced by community care in which everyone is supported in being wildly successful.
One of the things I most love about the work of Alfred Adler and my work in using his psychology within companies, is the idea that social interest offsets inferiority feelings. Recognizing this and focusing on helping each person live from purpose to intentionally contribute and belong, leads to everything everyone in the organization wants: trust, caring, loyalty, accountability, commitment and full engagement. Unlike Freud and Jung’s work, Adler helped people focus on future goals rather than childhood traumas. While understanding our past can be helpful, using personal power in service changes blame to encouragement, criticism to support, isolation to collaboration, and playing small to expanded potential. When contributing good in life and work, people experience joy and peace. Social interest leads to success and health, whether in a workplace, home, school, neighborhood, country or world. Caring promotes connection, service to others, and collective action so toxic individualism cannot take root, resulting in a healthy thriving organization.
LifeWork Systems promotes social interest, along with emotional and social intelligence, personal responsibility, intrinsic motivation and more, in all we do. Let us know if you’d like to know more and to get our support!
This article is published in the column The Extraordinary Workplace in St. Louis Small Business Monthly, October, 2025
