Breaking the Addiction to Approval

Breaking the Addiction to Approval

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”...
Just Use Common Sense, Or Should You?

Just Use Common Sense, Or Should You?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinA woman was preparing a roast and as was her common practice she cut off both ends of it and threw them away. One day her husband asked, “Why do you always cut off the ends and throw them away?” to which she replied, “That’s how my...
Kinds Of People You Need

Kinds Of People You Need

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinNo matter what your role, you have an important mission and vision to fulfill at both work and home. You also have challenges to overcome. An important question to consider is “what kinds of people do I need and want to achieve...
How Can I Motivate Them?

How Can I Motivate Them?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinIn my work with clients, I often hear, “how can I motivate this person to do what they’re supposed to? They’re lazy. They’re unmotivated.” The truth is people are always motivated. They’re just not always motivated to do what you...
Intention Equals Results

Intention Equals Results

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinIntention is a function of our minds and is a causal activity. In other words, whether we use our minds consciously or unconsciously, our intentions set in motion beliefs, thoughts and feelings that then play out in specific effects...
Authentic Power

Authentic Power

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinDo you trust people to want and choose to be caring, and accountable without coercion? Do you make it your mission to develop their initiative or to control them instead? Consider today’s research quoted in an article...
How Do You Know?

How Do You Know?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinOne of my favorite movies is called How do You Know? (starring Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Jack Nicholson, and Owen Wilson). It’s funny, romantic and very thought-provoking. Reese Witherspoon plays Lisa, a young 30-something that...
When Winning Turns Into Losing

When Winning Turns Into Losing

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“How tricky is this ego that it would tempt us with a promise of something we already possess.” Jim Carrey My daughter, a practicing attorney, was recently offered a great job in a small boutique law firm and was enjoying the...
Be THE Decisive Element

Be THE Decisive Element

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or...
Embrace the Edge of the Unknown

Embrace the Edge of the Unknown

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.”  Helen Keller For most business owners, living on the...
Right Under My Nose

Right Under My Nose

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Developing an awareness of life beyond your immediate surroundings brings a healthy restlessness which, if infused with peace and used well, can be a foundation for positive change in the world.” Dadi Janki, Brahmakumaris Chief...
Encouragement vs. Praise

Encouragement vs. Praise

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Humans need encouragement much like plants need water… We constantly encourage or discourage those around us and thereby contribute materially to their greater or lesser ability to function.”Rudolf Dreikurs, Author, Psychologist...
Become the Best Version of YOU!

Become the Best Version of YOU!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“The actual processes of individuation—the conscious coming-to-terms with one’s own inner center (psychic nucleus) or Self—generally begins with a wounding of the personality and the suffering that accompanies it. This...
Loved AND Lovable

Loved AND Lovable

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Elizabeth Appell In my work, I help people take the risk to blossom. I tell business leaders, employees,...
Choose Helpful AND Harmless

Choose Helpful AND Harmless

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“It always seems impossible until it is done”Nelson Mandela I often reflect on how many people are “checked out” at work, home, and school; they are suffering and barely surviving, rather than overcoming and thriving....
Become the Hero You’ve Been Waiting For

Become the Hero You’ve Been Waiting For

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.”Arthur Ashe Too many people stubbornly believe it’s necessary...
Get More Selfish!

Get More Selfish!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Whether you believe it a moral imperative or enlightened self-interest, securing the conditions that will lead to a healthy, prosperous future for everyone is a goal I believe we all share. Bill Gates We are often appalled by...
Your Powerful Agreements

Your Powerful Agreements

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive –to be alive and express what we really are. Just being our self is the biggest fear of humans.”Don Miguel Ruiz “There is...
Motivation From The Inside Out

Motivation From The Inside Out

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to because THEY want to do it.”Dwight D. Eisenhower For centuries as a people, we have opted to use control measures such as command-and-control...
Transforming Discouragement

Transforming Discouragement

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Inferiority feelings rule the mental life and can be clearly recognized in the sense of deficiency and dissatisfaction, and in uninterrupted struggles both within individuals and humanity.”Alfred Adler, Psychiatrist, 1870-1937 The...
Keep Moving Forward Into Transformation

Keep Moving Forward Into Transformation

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, keep moving forward.”Martin Luther King Imagine you commit to construct conditions in which...
Put YOUR Stake in the Ground

Put YOUR Stake in the Ground

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Every champion was once a contender that refused to give up.”Rocky Balboa Anything worth doing is worth doing completely. Yet, often we hold back commitment waiting for reassurance and commitment from others first. Doing this is...
Be Unconsciously Competent

Be Unconsciously Competent

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us”. Joseph Campbell, Author Often, we are afraid to make...
The Power of Mentoring

The Power of Mentoring

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”― Plato“The mind is not a...
Does The World Need More of This?

Does The World Need More of This?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“There is no neutral. We are either part of the problem or part of the solution.” Marianne Williamson A Crucial Question As we head into every new year, a really great question to consider as we think, speak and act...
The Courage To Change & Grow

The Courage To Change & Grow

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“An unexamined life is not worth living” Plato Here it is another New Year’s Day! It’s a time to reflect, re-set, and re-create. We consider our health, wealth, relationships, spirituality, and our purpose and...
When We Fear Consequences

When We Fear Consequences

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets, for it and knowledge, can raise men to the Divine.”Ludwig vonBeethoven One of the things I notice about many people (including myself) is that we often become...
Cover Story: Me Too: Unwrapping Abuse Systems

Cover Story: Me Too: Unwrapping Abuse Systems

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“An insight the size of a mustard seed is powerful enough to bring down a mountain-sized illusion that may be holding our lives together. Truth strikes without mercy. We fear our intuitions because we fear the transformational...
Culture Trumps Strategy But Purpose Trumps Everything

Culture Trumps Strategy But Purpose Trumps Everything

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”― Friedrich Nietzsche“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have...
Get Your People To Bring Their A-Game

Get Your People To Bring Their A-Game

“Freeing yourself was one thing; claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”
– Toni Morrison, Nobel Prize- and Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist

Do You Control or Develop Your Staff?

Do You Control or Develop Your Staff?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinAs seen in…   October: 2015: Your greatest asset is a team of committed employees. When you are disappointed in any of them, you may be tempted to choose the expediency and pseudo power of control methods instead of...
Are you Strategically Aligned?

Are you Strategically Aligned?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”Henry David Thoreau What many business owners...
Work/Life Balance

Work/Life Balance

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinWhat helps anyone, anytime, with almost anything? Figure out what you want and learn how to ask for it! From the movie, “How Do You Know?” Watch and learn how you would do this more often. Click on the image below...
Are You In Survival?

Are You In Survival?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinSometimes we hear people say, “That triggered me” or “that sure hooked me.” Their state of mind and emotions shifted dramatically in an over-reaction to something they witnessed. When this is more than a subtle experience, we...
Are You Free To Access Your Wisdom?

Are You Free To Access Your Wisdom?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinMost people are less able to access their wisdom than they know. And that’s because they are in survival mode more than they know. We experience various degrees of survival whenever we are triggered, reactive and experiencing our...
Help People Conceive, Believe, & Achieve

Help People Conceive, Believe, & Achieve

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinThe difference between an idea and a commitment is the difference between knowing about a new tool and using it in your everyday life as a new habit and way of operating. The greatest challenge many of my clients encounter as they...
Are You Feeling Merry or Blocking Your Joy?

Are You Feeling Merry or Blocking Your Joy?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Joy is the most vulnerable emotion we experience. In fact, addiction research shows us that an intensely positive experience is as likely to cause relapse as an intensely painful experience.”Brene Brown, Author and...
Are you Running Your Business from Fear or Freedom?

Are you Running Your Business from Fear or Freedom?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Live your life like you use your GPS. Set a course for your destination, make sure your vehicle is in good shape, trust you’ll eventually arrive and be content with the next instruction without knowing what’s after.” In my work, a...
Power Over? Power Under? Power Within?

Power Over? Power Under? Power Within?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinI was born and raised in Ferguson, MO and recent events there have provided an opportunity to write on beliefs about power.  Each of us might ask, “In any given moment, am I exercising power-over, power-under or...
What do you Intend to Cause?

What do you Intend to Cause?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinWhen I work with businesses, organizations, families, and individuals, people are usually confused by this question: What do you intend to cause?  It’s as if the idea they are the cause of something is foreign.  Yet there...
What You Protect, You Make Weak – Empowering vs. Enabling

What You Protect, You Make Weak – Empowering vs. Enabling

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinRule of Empowerment: “Don’t do for others anything they can do for themselves.  Don’t say anything they already know.” In order for people to live to highest potential, each has four core needs; to feel empowered,...
Shifting From Victim to Victor

Shifting From Victim to Victor

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinI have always been drawn to unorthodox methods for forming authentic community and developing people into good citizens. In the last thirty years I have turned that interest into an obsession and a company.  Here are key...
Key to Your Joy: Honor Your Sensitivity

Key to Your Joy: Honor Your Sensitivity

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinWhether male or female, it’s time to reclaim and honor your sensitivity.  Most of us were raised to repress, suppress and hide our sensitivity.  As infants and children we cried, raged, trembled in fear, and laughed with...
Creating a Life YOU Love

Creating a Life YOU Love

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinMy purpose is to cause conditions in which people love their lives.  Imagine this common scenario: Two or more people are having trouble creating caring and cooperation.  They are couples, friends, relatives, co-workers,...
Get Along. Get Inspired. Get Results.

Get Along. Get Inspired. Get Results.

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinEvery business owner sets up their organization with high hopes and a dream of making a difference, yet all the great ideas and intentions to provide quality products and services do not guarantee favorable outcomes. Three things...
Let’s Break a Rule: the 20/80 Rule

Let’s Break a Rule: the 20/80 Rule

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinImprove Your Employee and Customer Satisfaction Your customer satisfaction is directly tied to your employee satisfaction. Your employee satisfaction is directly tied to your ability to dismantle the proverbial 20/80 rule; the...
1. Straightforwardness: Dare I Tell it Like It Is?

1. Straightforwardness: Dare I Tell it Like It Is?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinThe most important relationship to manage is with our self. A trustworthy person practices honesty, straightforwardness, respect, receptivity, recognition, keeping commitments, seeking excellence and disclosure, the eight values...
7. Follow-Through: Do I Mean What I Say?

7. Follow-Through: Do I Mean What I Say?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinImagine you ask someone to do something and they agree. You count on it, and then come to find they didn’t do it. How are you feeling? Chances are you feel frustrated and disappointed. You also lose trust in this person. One of...
Why Are You Here?

Why Are You Here?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinYou’re challenged by a co-worker, client, friend or child; you’re up against physical, social, financial and emotional trials; you’re at odds with life and thwarted in achieving your goals. Despite this, what helps you remain...
Kinds of People I Need

Kinds of People I Need

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinAn important question to consider is, “What kinds of people do I need and want to achieve my mission and overcome my challenges? You must take a close look at personal responsibility, and understand what it is, how it looks and...
Courage to be Imperfect

Courage to be Imperfect

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinWhy are we the most addicted, medicated, overweight, and indebted society in history? Brene Brown, researcher, author and speaker on vulnerability, worthiness and joy, provides us with a brilliant analysis of why so many of us are...
Longing for the Good Old Days?

Longing for the Good Old Days?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Why can’t we go back to the good old days when people knew how to behave?!” While I was raised in a loving family with wonderful parents, I often found my own vision, feelings, ideas and expressions dismissed. Then, as now, the...
Wake up Tickled and Inspired!

Wake up Tickled and Inspired!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Are you ready to be wildly successful while supporting the same in others? if so… what are you waiting for?” Now’s the time to take these steps so you too awaken tickled and inspired… One of my most significant...
Connect to Your Light!

Connect to Your Light!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinRecently, I took a self-imposed retreat to discover how to more fully operate from freedom, courage and joy. As women, unless the light of love is flowing fully in our family or in our intimate relationships, we’re not fulfilled...
Keep The End In Mind

Keep The End In Mind

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinIn any situation in which you are uncertain, the first thing to consider very simply is, “What do I want to come of this? What is it for?” The clarification of the goal belongs at the beginning of any course of action because the...
Pause, Breathe and Check In

Pause, Breathe and Check In

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinThich Nhat Hahn, a well- known author and Buddhist monk says we are reluctant to visit the home of our self because we are loath to face the pain, sadness and fear we might encounter there. It’s true those emotions are often...
Reality & Realist: An Idealist’s Perspective

Reality & Realist: An Idealist’s Perspective

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinWe give and receive negative behavior based in fear and doubt every day. That’s part of our humanness. Being an idealist in the face of this behavior doesn’t mean we act as if we’ve had a lobotomy or bury our heads...
I Want.  What Will I Do?

I Want. What Will I Do?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinWhat do I want and what am I willing to do? These are powerful questions that make up the internal dialog of those who have embraced intrinsic motivation; the process of identifying and expressing what one most loves. These are...
What & Why Emotional Intelligence

What & Why Emotional Intelligence

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinWe hear a lot of buzz these days about the importance of emotional intelligence (EI).  What exactly is “emotional intelligence” and why do we need it? There are 4 main components: self-awareness, self-management, social...
Commitment

Commitment

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all...
Vision is Everything

Vision is Everything

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinIt’s becoming more popular to talk about the power of our vision and the role it plays in creating extraordinary outcomes in our personal and professional lives. Physicists have proven that observers have an impact on the...
Am I Selfish?

Am I Selfish?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinIt’s important to ask, “What do I feel and what do I want?” When we neglect to take time to consider our choices we often commit self-betrayal, which then results in betrayal of others… A friend recently called me for advice....
What You Look For You Will Find

What You Look For You Will Find

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinOne of the great benefits and challenges of growing up is choice – consciously exercising it that is!  We are always choosing, we just don’t always ask ourselves what, how and why we are choosing.  Our focus makes...
Organized Chaos on Purpose

Organized Chaos on Purpose

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinAs a child deeply in love with nature, living on the edge of a park, and the 5th child of 6, I knew a lot about chaos, the beautiful, free, creative and exhilarating kind. Starting out free to explore, school at age 5 felt like...
Personal Power is Priceless

Personal Power is Priceless

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinFeeling powerfully influential is a heady experience and one of our basic minimum human requirements for living a life of meaning. Authentic personal power developed in service to our highest purpose occurs when we know our...