It’s Time to Critically Think About Critical Thinking!
“The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. A second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. A first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.” A.A. Milne, Playwright and Author (most notably: Winnie the...
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Your seed of actions and words toward your children will produce a harvest. Salay Kekula, Author, Secrets to Reaching Your Destiny Continuing forward, we now know some ground steps to begin to inspire greatness in those among us. We must practice what we preach...
Being Seen, Heard, and Understood
Psychological safety, trauma-informed functioning, emotional intelligence, and mental health are common organizational focuses today. At the root of these are the need for a deep understanding and establishment of, conditions that foster peace, joy and love in people...
“You Need to EARN My Trust!” Are You Sure?
Many faulty beliefs go unquestioned and the notion of earning trust before it is given is one of those. Others do not need to earn your trust. Rather, the trust you need earn is that which you must find within yourself. Trusting yourself requires self-confidence such...
“I Don’t Feel Appreciated”
When I begin working with organizations, people frequently report that a significant challenge for them is a lack of appreciation. Leadership and front-line staff alike say they give their all and don’t always feel valued for their efforts. Many fear they are...
How to Shift AWARENESS to Changed BEHAVIOR
Imagine you have toxic, disengaged (quiet quitting) behaviors in your workplace. Everything you read and measure shows this negatively impacts your growth, profitability, and reputation. The facts confirm that the effective people in your organization are personally...
Help! I Dread Work and I’m the Boss!
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power. Abraham Lincoln The leadership style that starts in childhood is at the heart of why 55% of people are disengaged and 16% are actively...
It’s ALL About Customer Service… Or Is It?
“You’d corner me in your conformity but even in dormancy I’m sleeping with enormity, stretching the belly of the earth and everything I was born to be.” ― Curtis Tyrone Jones, a veteran, coach, motivational speaker, and author When I hear...
Shame: Don’t Kill the Messenger!
“Each and every time the grace of devastation enters our reality, we have an equal opportunity to either cement the falsehood of limiting beliefs or to allow limiting beliefs to melt away by walking through the fire of our most epic disaster.” Matt Kahn, Author of...
Do I Care Enough to Risk Losing You?
“Many of us live in denial of who we truly are because we fear losing someone or something-and there are times that if we don’t rock the boat, too often the one we lose is ourselves…It feels good to be accepted, loved, and approved of by others, but often...
Why Systemic Change is Hard
“The system of patriarchy is a historic construct; it has a beginning; it will have an end. Its time seems to have nearly run its course—it no longer serves the needs of men or women and in its inextricable linkage to militarism, hierarchy, and racism it threatens the...
Unresolved Psychological Contracts
“If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate.” ― Miguel Ruiz, Author, The Four Agreements A psychological contract is beliefs people...
Complicity
“The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people, but the silence over that by the good people.” Martin Luther King, Jr. Someone cautioned me recently that I would offend people because I brought up toxic masculinity and that I should...
Manipulation
“Arriving at the destination is more than just having the map.” Judy Ryan, CEO LifeWork Systems Manipulation has gotten a bad rap. We often feel insulted and become defensive when we or someone we love is described as manipulative. The common belief is that...
A Fool with a Tool is Still a Fool
“A fool with a tool is still a fool.” Grady Booch, American Software Engineer In any situation involving significant transformation, the most important change process is the one within, one’s mindset. In my 12-month culture transformation process people often...
Your Greatest Barrier Is Your Pain Tolerance
“…Sometimes I suspect that what had really happened was that we became more resigned, more cynical, raised our pain thresholds as we lowered our expectations. All in all, we settled for less.” Emma Donoghue, Playwright It’s no accident we often hear, “no pain,...
Can Love Be Here Too?
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” —Brené Brown As I work with clients on their personal and professional development or help friends and family who are working through issues, I find many people push...
Wake Up and Question Everything
“Questions wake people up. They prompt new ideas. They show people new places, new ways of doing things.” ~ Michael Marquardt When you were a child, you had a sense of wonder and thought nothing of asking lots of questions, maybe to the consternation of...
Seize Opportunities Within the Great Resignation
“The true test of character is to live win-win even when promoted to positions where win-lose is possible.” ― Orrin Woodward If you search google, you’ll find The Great Resignation is defined as an informal name for the widespread trend of a significant number...
Stop Protecting Your Reputation
“The strongest oak tree of the forest is not the one protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.” ― Napoleon Hill ...
Episode 11 – Living the Life You Want
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In my work with clients, I often hear people say, “how can I motivate this person to do what they’re supposed to? They’re lazy. They’re unmotivated.” The truth is people are always motivated. They’re just not always motivated to do what YOU want them to do.
In this episode, Judy and her guest, Tara Gregor, founder and CEO of Breakwell, a resource hub for holistic wellness discuss a very different and highly effective approach to motivation. Old models and external motivation tactics simply don’t work anymore. So, if those don’t work, what does? Tune in to this podcast to learn a new approach.
Episode 10 – Leaders Driving Culture Change
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In my work with clients, I often hear people say, “how can I motivate this person to do what they’re supposed to? They’re lazy. They’re unmotivated.” The truth is people are always motivated. They’re just not always motivated to do what YOU want them to do.
In this episode, Judy and her guest, Tara Gregor, founder and CEO of Breakwell, a resource hub for holistic wellness discuss a very different and highly effective approach to motivation. Old models and external motivation tactics simply don’t work anymore. So, if those don’t work, what does? Tune in to this podcast to learn a new approach.
The Danger in Larger-Than-Life Heroes
“The danger in larger-than-life heroes is that many get affixed to their perceived status and achievements to the cost of themselves and others.” Judy Ryan, CEO LifeWork Systems I have met leaders who have accomplished great things. They have turned around...
Is Your Free Will Actually Free?
“Free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.” ~ C.S. Lewis Many people are aware of choices they make. What they don’t realize is that unconscious beliefs have also formed when they...
Are Your People High Performing?
“Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.” Michael Jordan “You can motivate by fear, and you can motivate by reward. But both those methods are only temporary. The only lasting thing is self-motivation.” Homer Rice As a business leader, you...
Use of Power
“The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.” ― Mahatma Gandhi “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” ― Abraham Lincoln I was not sure whether to call this...
Do You Have a Powerful, Positive and Helpful Ego?
“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and, in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.” John Lennon The notion of ego is often used to describe the harmful expressions of ego. We all...
Powerful Leaders Create Other Leaders
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams “The single biggest way to impact an organization is to focus on leadership development. There is almost no limit to the...
When Everything Falls to Pieces
“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free Without a stable foundation, all your hard work and dreams will crumble. Do you have the foundation you need when shift hits the fan? If...
Episode 7 – Game Changing Appreciative Inquiry
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Episode 6 – When Everything Falls To Pieces
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Episode 5 – The Power of Mentoring
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Episode 4 – How Can I Motivate Them?
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In my work with clients, I often hear people say, “how can I motivate this person to do what they’re supposed to? They’re lazy. They’re unmotivated.” The truth is people are always motivated. They’re just not always motivated to do what YOU want them to do.
In this episode, Judy and her guest, Tara Gregor, founder and CEO of Breakwell, a resource hub for holistic wellness discuss a very different and highly effective approach to motivation. Old models and external motivation tactics simply don’t work anymore. So, if those don’t work, what does? Tune in to this podcast to learn a new approach.
Episode 3 – The New Culture Model
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In this episode, Judy and her guest, Lynn Dornfeld, dig a little deeper into the new culture model from several different angles. What are the components to follow? What are the success criteria? What is a culture framework and why do you need one?
Episode 2 – Are You a Puppet Or Powerful?
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The Key to Employee Engagement
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Viktor Frankl In order to understand employee engagement, you must first understand what...
Episode 1- Spitting in the Soup
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This topic is designed to challenge basic norms we’ve held sacrosanct for centuries. These are the four control models described in this episode as widely promoted means to cultivate good citizenship in homes, schools, churches, and workplaces; really everywhere. This episode helps listeners to recognize these as the impediments they are and that they need to be dismantled and replaced with new models.
Spitting In The Soup
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People are always motivated. It’s not anyone’s job to motivate others. People can control themselves. They can do what’s right and don’t need approval or shaming to do so. They don’t need to be enabled. The problem is we don’t have faith in people nor do we know how to effectively teach them to pick up responsibility for things that are theirs to own. When we learn to do so, others can become accountable, caring and fully engaged, making a positive difference in your business.
It’s Never Too Late…To Create A Life You Love
“It is not always sunshine that splits the seed cleaving the armor, releasing the shoot. Darkness makes the heart’s case fragile. Pain breaks it open. Courage teases out the leaves and life unfurls and expands, thrusting upwards into light.” -Heidi Thomas, Call the...
Why Transparency CAN Become a Bloodbath
“Killers aren’t always assassins. Sometimes, they don’t even have blood on their hands.” ~ Ruta Sepetys, Author I once knew a school teacher who quit her job teaching 8th graders (which she loved) to work for my company transforming school cultures where...
Discarding the Monster Box
“A man who picks up a cat by its tail will learn a lesson he can learn no other way.” ~ Mark Twain Your business will improve if you remember some important facts. One is that we are all more alike than different. The other is that we must all put away the monster...
Is Love More Powerful Than Hate?
“You are a child of God. You’re playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.” Marianne Williamson I often ask, “How many of you see struggles...
Agility and Resiliency – A Formula for Success
“The game of business used to be like football: size mattered. Then it changed to basketball: speed and agility. Today business is more like chess: customer priorities change continually, and the signals given by these changes are vital clues to the next cycle...
Resilience and Agility: The Dynamic Duo for The New World of Work
“Most notably, this study shows that high agility is associated with much higher levels of depression and anxiety risk when combined with low resilience. In essence, agility produces negative mental health consequences when the employee cannot be resilient....
Devil’s Advocate and Brutal Honesty
“Never play the Devil’s Advocate. Your words could be the difference between success and failure in someone else.” Ingrid Weir Too often I hear people say, “I’m going to play Devil’s advocate now” to which I quickly reply, “Please don’t. The Devil has too many...
The Rise of The Social Enterprise
THE SYMPHONIC C-SUITE: TEAMS LEADING TEAMS Senior leaders can’t afford to work in silos in today’s complex, dynamic environment. The goal is to act as a symphony of experts playing in harmony—instead of a cacophony of experts who sound great alone, but not together....
How Can I Motivate Them?
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams In my work with clients, I often hear, “How can I motivate this person to do what they’re supposed to? They’re lazy. They’re...
Authentic Power
Do you trust people to want and choose to be caring, and accountable without coercion? Do you make it your mission to develop their initiative or to control them instead? Consider today’s research quoted in an article entitled The Rise of American Authoritarianism...
When Winning Turns Into Losing
“How tricky is this ego that it would tempt us with a promise of something we already possess.” Jim Carrey My daughter, a practicing attorney, was recently offered a great job in a small boutique law firm and was enjoying the process of getting to know the staff,...
Be THE Decisive Element
“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or...
Commit to Personal Responsibility
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: That the moment one...
Disengagement is Betrayal
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you...
Encouragement vs. Praise
“Humans need encouragement much like plants need water… We constantly encourage or discourage those around us and thereby contribute materially to their greater or lesser ability to function.” Rudolf Dreikurs, Author, Psychologist Discouraged people are those most in...
Get More Selfish!
“Whether you believe it a moral imperative or enlightened self-interest, securing the conditions that will lead to a healthy, prosperous future for everyone is a goal I believe we all share.” Bill Gates We are often appalled by selfish people. They grasp...
Motivation From The Inside Out
“Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to because THEY want to do it.” Dwight D. Eisenhower For centuries as a people, we have opted to use control measures such as command-and-control management (eliciting fear and...
Millennials: Canaries In The Coal Mine
“Age is no better, hardly so well, qualified for an instructor as youth, for it has not profited so much as it has lost.” Henry David Thoreau, Walden & Civil Disobedience A canary in the coal mine refers to a time when canaries (birds) were carried down into mine...
The Courage To Change & Grow
“An unexamined life is not worth living” Plato Here it is another New Year’s Day! It’s a time to reflect, re-set, and re-create. We consider our health, wealth, relationships, spirituality, and our purpose and visions. Many get determined to set new...
Culture Eclipses Strategy But Purpose Eclipses Everything
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson...
Choose You
“Most men (and women) lead lives of quiet desperation and die with their song still inside them.” Henry David Thoreau It’s difficult for many people, especially women, to choose themselves in their own lives and then they lead lives of quiet desperation. I have found...
Who Says You’re Not Like The Dalai Lama!?
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate… Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Nelson Mandela How is it that we often forget our true glorious nature and cling to the weakest view of our self instead? It is as if we have these...
Life Is Calling YOU!
“You are braver than you think, more talented than you realize.” R. Bennett I watched a documentary on the pyramids recently and learned something that made me hopeful while confirming what I have already felt intuitively. Despite appearances, we are moving out of a...
“I’m Sorry You Feel That Way” – “I Never Intended That…”
“If you own the story you get to write the ending.” Brene Brown “We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.” George Bernard Shaw Why It’s Never Helpful to Say, “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way…” or “I Never...
Activate All Super Powers
“I AM a sacred cocoon, a place to dismantle what no longer serves, and allow new, bright, and free possibilities to emerge. I am safe, supported and healed into the best version of myself and available to provide the same for others.”Judy Ryan, CEO Why activate?...
What Does “I’m Right; You’re Wrong” Cost?
“Remember, we see the world not as it is but as we are. Most of us see through the eyes of our fears and our limiting beliefs and our false assumptions.” Robin S. Sharma “Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really...
Do You (Really) Believe in Win/Win?
“Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will lead.” Charles M. Schwab When most people are asked if they believe in and want win/win, they answer with the obvious, “yes.” The challenge is that...
Don’t Hold Up Progress
“Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility . . . In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have is the ability to take on responsibility.” Michael Korda “Accountability separates the wishers in life...
Do You Have Faith In People’s Goodness?
“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. Always pray to have eyes that see the best in people, and a heart that forgives the worst.” Martin Luther King, Jr You may be surprised to discover your answer might too often be...
Do You Control or Develop Your Staff?
“If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.” Henry Cloud Your greatest asset is a team of committed employees. When you are...
Teach them to Fish
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” Maimonides The Dilemma Many systems and strategies of the past are no longer effective. Schools were originally designed to cultivate conforming, compliant factory...
It Feels Real: Am I Being Punished?
“Children are great observers but poor interpreters.” Rudolf Dreikurs, parent educator, author and psychologist Why this feeling?When we were children, one of the ways we could create the illusion life was not careening out of control when scary or sad things...
Help People Conceive, Believe, & Achieve
The difference between an idea and a commitment is the difference between knowing about a new tool and using it in your everyday life as a new habit and way of operating. The greatest challenge many of my clients encounter as they improve their workplace culture is to...
Conducting Business From The Heart
When I speak of heart in this article, I am referring specifically to our heart’s purpose, inspired from within, deeply stirring us, leading us to take actions that matter most to us. In my work with clients, I find that many don’t have a clear idea about their...
Are You Personally Responsible?
You may wonder: what criterion determines if a person is personally responsible? Personal responsibility IS synonymous with authentic freedom, empowerment, creativity, accountability, and alignment. It always brings about positive results. Without personal...
What is Social Interest? Does it Matter?
Think of people you know and admire a lot. What qualities do you like most about them? How do they make you feel? Chances are they are people who banish inferiority feelings in others and cause a positive experience instead. They have social interest. “Inferiority...
Are You Feeling Merry or Blocking Your Joy?
“Joy is the most vulnerable emotion we experience. In fact, addiction research shows us that an intensely positive experience is as likely to cause relapse as an intensely painful experience.”Brene Brown, Author and Researcher on Shame and...
Are you Running Your Business from Fear or Freedom?
“Live your life like you use your GPS. Set a course for your destination, make sure your vehicle is in good shape, trust you’ll eventually arrive and be content with the next instruction without knowing what’s after.” Judy Ryan, CEO LifeWork Systems In my work, a...
Building Caring Connections
“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Theodore Roosevelt “Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact on people, brings happiness.” Harold Kushner I frequently meet people who want to experience...
What do you Intend to Cause?
“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” Albert Einstein When I work with businesses, organizations, families, and individuals, people are usually confused by this question: What do you intend to cause? It’s as if the idea...
A Happy Community Works, Plays, & Serves Together
A Happy Community Works, Plays, & Serves. Leaders determine the happiness of their workplace community. When you think of a happy community, you likely picture good team players that pitch in, are positive and manage themselves well, including their relationships,...
What You Protect, You Make Weak – Empowering vs. Enabling
Rule of Empowerment: “Don’t do for others anything they can do for themselves. Don’t say anything they already know.” Rudolf Dreikurs In order for people to live to highest potential, each has four core needs; to feel empowered, lovable, connected and...
Rejuvenate Your Ho-Hum Meetings
“Meeting people in a genuine way and feeling like there is a vital and meaningful connection going on makes me come alive.” Sharon Salzberg, NY Times Best-Selling Author Staff meetings provide your employees a unique opportunity to experience four crucial...
You’re Not The Boss of Me!
“Trying to win a power struggle is like trying to win a nuclear war. You may achieve your goal, but not without catastrophic casualties on both sides.” Jamie Raser, Author of Raising Children You Can Live With A man I know refuses to wear his safety belt...
Key to Your Joy: Honor Your Sensitivity
“To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness…Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate.” Anthon St. Maarten, Author ...
Creating a Life YOU Love
“Selfishness is a virtue, unless you think it must come at the expense of others. And why would anyone think that? Oh yeah, that’s what all the people who don’t “get it” told you.” Mike Dooley My purpose is to cause conditions in...
Part 1 of 5 – Gathering Requirements
You successfully started your business and now it’s growing. You may be wondering, “Are we as productive as we could be despite the fact we’re hiring more people?” It’s not enough to run and grow your business. Your ability to sustain wellbeing is key to your...
Get Along. Get Inspired. Get Results.
“Before one can hit a grand-slam home run, it first requires singles, doubles or triples.” Unknown Every business owner sets up their organization with high hopes and a dream of making a difference, yet all the great ideas and intentions to provide quality...
Extraordinary People & Results
“It is not the ultimate achievement that makes you extraordinary; it is what you become on the way to that achievement that people celebrate. Saidi Mdala, Author of Know What Matters Are you experiencing poor relationships? Seeing under-performance and disengagement...
Your Blueprint for Constructing Success
“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” – Henry David...
From Compliance to Commitment
“You get the best efforts from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within.” -Bob Nelson Compliance People used to think of the workplace in terms of the activities and behaviors that employees needed to perform well....
5. Respect: Valuing Unconditionally
“Respect yourself and others will respect you.” ― Confucius This article on respect is the seventh in my series on the eight values that build trust. I always pair the word respect with mutual because one is not possible without the other. In my work with...
6. Recognition: Why is Recognition Important To Trust?
“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” Fred Rogers I have been...
8. Seeking Excellence: Are You All You Can Be?
“Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny.” Aristotle Seeking excellence...
Why Are You Here?
“Believe in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles.” Roy T. Bennett, Author, The Light in the Heart You’re challenged by a co-worker, client, friend or child; you’re up against physical, social, financial...
How Do I Deal With That Annoying Person?
“There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.” Mark Twain You know that person who cracks a joke at an inopportune moment? Taps their pen on the conference room desk? Stands at your door while you’re on the...
Why Are You So Mean?
“People are not mean to us because they don’t like us, but because they don’t like themselves.” Jodi Aman What Did I Do To Deserve that?! You know those times when out of the blue, someone does or says something that shocks and hurts you? In that moment, you’re...
Kinds of People I Need
“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.” Harry Truman An important question to consider is, “What kinds of people do I need and want to achieve my mission and...
Courage to be Imperfect
“Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.” Brené Brown Why are we the most addicted, medicated, overweight, and indebted society in history? Brene Brown, researcher, author and speaker on vulnerability, worthiness...
Who Do You Think You Are?!
Ever encounter those people you feel like asking, “Who died and made you God?” You resist supporting them, thinking and saying anything nice about or to them and even if you don’t generally gossip, they’re the ones you’re most likely to tear down (or rip apart!), and...
Longing for the Good Old Days?
“The good old days were never that good, believe me. The good new days are today, and better days are coming tomorrow. Our greatest songs are still unsung.” Hubert Humphrey “Why can’t we go back to the good old days when people knew how to behave?!” While I was...
How do I Make All-Stars?
by Julia Paulus (referencing Judy Ryan and LifeWork Systems) SBM, March 2010 My biggest all-star employee just left the company to work for a competitor. He was efficient, virtually mistake-free and energetic. When he left, he took with him a bunch of...
Can a Team-Hater Engage Employees?
by Julia Paulus (referencing Judy Ryan and LifeWork Systems) SBM, March 2010 I don’t like teams. Back in school, I hated classes when we had to do group projects. My group was always the one where a couple of people did nothing and still got the grade. The same...
Wake up Tickled and Inspired!
“Are you ready to be wildly successful while supporting the same in others? if so… what are you waiting for?” Now’s the time to take these steps so you too awaken tickled and inspired… One of my most significant experiences in 2009 included participating...
Game-Changing Appreciative Inquiry
Imagine two scenarios both involving a couple struggling in their relationship and seeking marriage counseling. In the first instance, the couple is asked questions centering on their problems, including their origin and possible solutions. While this traditional...
What Does it Take to Build Trust?
I’ve delivered many team building workshops to corporations, schools and parent groups in which I focus on the behaviors that build trust and those that don’t. One behavior destructive to any team is gossip and part of my program is an invitation to enter a mind trust...
Better to Give Than Receive?
We often hear the phrase, “It’s better to give than receive” but is it true? The truth is, it just feels safer to give. Without equal ability to receive, a relationship is defined and limited by a certain amount of fear and withholding. I discovered the significance...
Connect to Your Light!
Recently, I took a self-imposed retreat to discover how to more fully operate from freedom, courage and joy. As women, unless the light of love is flowing fully in our family or in our intimate relationships, we’re not fulfilled because loving relationships are our...
Keep The End In Mind
In any situation in which you are uncertain, the first thing to consider very simply is, “What do I want to come of this? What is it for?” The clarification of the goal belongs at the beginning of any course of action because the goal is what will determine the...
Pause, Breathe and Check In
Thich Nhat Hahn, a well- known author and Buddhist monk says we are reluctant to visit the home of our self because we are loath to face the pain, sadness and fear we might encounter there. It’s true those emotions are often present. He also says that if we...
The Biggest Loser
The show “The Biggest Loser” is very popular. In it we see men and women who are determined to make monumental changes and are willing to embrace new habits and significant personal discomfort to do so. When I recently asked one of my friends what they...
Reality & Realist: An Idealist’s Perspective
We give and receive negative behavior based in fear and doubt every day. That’s part of our humanness. Being an idealist in the face of this behavior doesn’t mean we act as if we’ve had a lobotomy or bury our heads in the sand. Being spiritual and...
No I Won’t, You Can’t Make Me!
Power Struggles: Opportunities for Connection Yes, we all know what it is to be in a power struggle, whether it’s with a parent, child, spouse, lover, friend or co-worker. Power struggles are fraught with tension, anger and provocation. The feeling on one or both...
I Want. What Will I Do?
What do I want and what am I willing to do? These are powerful questions that make up the internal dialog of those who have embraced intrinsic motivation; the process of identifying and expressing what one most loves. These are questions of courage, exploration and...
What & Why Emotional Intelligence
We hear a lot of buzz these days about the importance of emotional intelligence (EI). What exactly is “emotional intelligence” and why do we need it? There are 4 main components: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management....
Commitment
“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and...
Vision is Everything
“By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail.” Benjamin Franklin It’s becoming more popular to talk about the power of our vision and the role it plays in creating extraordinary outcomes in our personal and professional lives. Physicists have proven that...
Am I Selfish?
It’s important to ask, “What do I feel and what do I want?” When we neglect to take time to consider our choices we often commit self-betrayal, which then results in betrayal of others… A friend recently called me for advice. Every year her family eats a...
What You Look For You Will Find
One of the great benefits and challenges of growing up is choice – consciously exercising it that is! We are always choosing, we just don’t always ask ourselves what, how and why we are choosing. Our focus makes all the difference. I had a huge aha experience...
Organized Chaos on Purpose
As a child deeply in love with nature, living on the edge of a park, and the 5th child of 6, I knew a lot about chaos, the beautiful, free, creative and exhilarating kind. Starting out free to explore, school at age 5 felt like bitter confinement and at times crushing...