“There isn’t enough positive self-talk you can practice in a toxic work environment, and there isn’t enough strength you can possess to survive. A toxic workplace… follows you into every part of your life.”
— Elelwani Anita Ravhuhali, Author
“Change happens when the fear of remaining in the same situation becomes greater…”
— Unknown
Do you have a toxic culture? If you suspect you do, you probably do! “If so, don’t ask, ‘Why is this happening? or Who’s to blame?’ Instead, ask, ‘What system if put in place would solve or fix this?’” We tell our clients to approach every situation and their role in it (even as a bystander) as though “I am responsible, but NOT guilty.” This is because toxic culture (including in homes and schools) is often based on control; toxic power-over, power-under dynamics that engender fear.
Most people were taught various tactics to curb toxic behavior and dysfunction. These include overt or subtle control (autocracy), incentives (bribing), judgment (bestowed from above – like “I’m so proud of you” or “I’m so disappointed in you”) and pampering (enabling). These use power-over and power-under dynamics rather than power-within, power-between and power-for one another. You may be wondering, “How do I promote the latter and why should I?”
In a McKinsey Health Institute article Addressing Employee Burnout: Are You Solving the Right Problem?, they write:
“In a recent global survey on employee mental-health and well-being challenges, we recommend organizations address these by taking a systemic approach focused on changing the causes rather than the symptoms of poor outcomes. We suggest employers can and should respond through interventions focused on prevention rather than remediation.”
I would extend this from employers to everyone, because ‘toxicity in one area follows you into every part of your life.’ Unfortunately, most people, including business leaders, wait until their fear of remaining in the same situation becomes greater… It is only when evidence is blatant that their business is beset by toxic behaviors and dysfunction that can and are costing them employees and customers, that they become determined to act.
This occurred recently in a client site. People were poisoning the well to line up in an us-against-them dynamic that began spilling over into their customer interactions. The owners knew for some time that problems were brewing, but it was not until the challenges started to increase and employees mentioned quitting that they took needed action. Luckily, they are committed to the hard work of helping their staff grow in personal responsibility. Here’s what’s involved:
Trustworthiness is Foundational. This means that the organization recognizes the need for and commits to make the highest priority of people ‘having a “10” with one another’ This is the most important commitment. This means people are expected to recognize any large or small unresolved issue with any other employee, in any role, and commit to resolve it.
Fear and Protection. What most people do instead is pretend and avoid issues (pseudo-community; power-under), or begin power-struggling (chaos; power-over) because they don’t know how to, or don’t have the tools and support they need (but think they should have), for disclosure (openness without an agenda), receptivity (listening to hear, not defend), respect, or showing recognition (acknowledging with appreciation another’s perspective). These are power-within, power-between and for power-for one another. This leads to caring community in which honesty, straightforwardness, follow-through and seeking excellence are the norm.
Safety. We all need to feel psychologically safe to function in caring community. When trust slips and we have unresolved issues (no matter how small), we begin to lose that safety. Then, no matter how much we focus on logical solutions to business problems or on customer service, the fear in power-over and power-under dynamics fuels more fear. This is a vicious cycle that perpetuates discouragement. This is why resolution of issues with others (trustworthiness) must be foundational and the number one priority.
Cause and Effect. In the McKinsey quote about a systemic approach focused on changing the causes rather than the symptoms, and focusing on prevention rather than remediation, this is part of what prioritizing trustworthiness does. This propels you into developing your workforce.
To get to the root of challenges, your entire team must be taught and supported in co-creating emotional and social intelligence, collaborative teamwork, internal motivation, and social interest (recognizing and intending positive consequences for one another). At LifeWork Systems we help with this and more so you can turn around a toxic culture until it becomes a healthy culture. You learn to manage it internally over time and hire and onboard people to keep it that way ongoing.
This article is published in my column The Extraordinary Workplace in St. Louis Small Business Monthly, September 2026.
