“The best way to resolve any problem in the human world is for all sides to sit down and talk.”
Dalai Lama
“We walk together, we move together, we think together, we resolve together, and together we take this country forward.”
Narendra Modi, PM of India
Resolving issues is one of the most important (and challenging) things to encourage and support in people for effective collaboration and success. To do so takes skill, purpose, values, tools, help and courage. Often unresolved issues remain fixed because there is fear and unresolved trauma within us in addition to that within others. However, when issues remain unresolved, it is like a car with water in the gas tank, understandably prone to poor performance.
The Courage to be Imperfect
Despite my fluidity in understanding and promoting behaviors needed to build trust and the tools for resolving issues in a relationship, I still find doing this to be both challenging and vulnerable. The more I release my need for acceptance or to be and look agreeable and mature, the more I move into action and grow. In fact, when I seek to resolve something with another, even with such knowledge, I almost always feel uncertain and uncomfortable. This means I must draw upon courage and self-acceptance; especially the courage to do it imperfectly, and to make mistakes.
Do we have a “10”?
When LifeWork Systems works with customers, we assert that the foundation for a healthy workplace culture is trustworthiness. This is defined as reflecting on relationships regularly to determine if we have a “10” with everyone. A “10” is a relationship with no unresolved issues. In a “10”, respect, recognition, receptivity, and disclosure are abundant as are straightforwardness, honesty, seeking excellence and following through on commitments. When you are in a relationship where these are neglected or violated, the “10” slips. Managing a “10” is vital.
I recently met with a powerful leader to discuss possible collaboration in bringing positive change to St. Louis. In our meeting, I started to feel dominated in our conversation and grew frustrated. We were not a “10”. I decided to speak up about it. Even though I did not do this in the most ideal manner (I teach this for gosh sakes!) I am proud that I wanted the “10” and that I had courage. In this instance, I did not do it elegantly (it is hard to do when we are in strong emotions), but I had the opportunity to learn and grow because of how it went down. I take heart in knowing this will ultimately help me and help me to help others.
Self-Acceptance
What is hardest about resolving issues is the internalized messages that arise; the ideas that we are not enough (or are too much), not worthy, not perfect, not capable, not significant and do not belong. These are activated (usually in all parties) when resolving issues. Remembering we are perfect as we are helps us to resolve internal AND external issues. The beauty is that when we see what is triggered within and between people, and if we embrace the messiness of all of it, we grow. For me, this is walking my talk and being the change I wish to see in the world.
The Value of Consistent Concepts, Tools and Support
Being human is not easy! It helps to recognize it as a privilege and a great source of joy when coupled with our healing, both within us and with others. Those who seek excellence will be drawn to us as we seek it and those who fall away are all part of our growth and evolution as well as that of our businesses. We learn to set healthy boundaries and continue to work on asking for what we want so that we consciously develop stronger relationships.
This is the way forward. As you and your team grow in personal responsibility, you will attract great people and lose some not so committed to greatness. As your staff learns essential concepts and how to apply tools that build trust and foster emotional and social intelligence, they resolve problems and move forward together in co-creating a brighter, more loving future in which all people love their lives (the LifeWork Systems mission). This is a process, requires a way to engage in consistent, focused support, and it takes time. The more you and your team make this a consistent priority, the more the wellbeing of all unfolds.
LifeWork Systems can support you in the change process by providing your business with the system to ensure your people grow as a team, resolve issues, and develop high trust, loyalty, and caring. Then, you develop into a “10” organization and the trustworthiness within it fuels your success in better serving your customers. This also helps you to resolve issues in your personal life and this is especially essential currently. We are here to help!
This article is published in my column The Extraordinary Workplace in St. Louis Small Business Monthly, August 2026.
