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Shame: Don’t Kill the Messenger!

Shame: Don’t Kill the Messenger!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Each and every time the grace of devastation enters our reality, we have an equal opportunity to either cement the falsehood of limiting beliefs or to allow limiting beliefs to melt away by walking through the fire of our most epic...
Unresolved Psychological Contracts

Unresolved Psychological Contracts

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate.” ― Miguel Ruiz, Author, The Four Agreements   A...
Complicity

Complicity

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people, but the silence over that by the good people.” Martin Luther King, Jr.   Someone cautioned me recently that I would offend people because I brought...
Manipulation

Manipulation

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Arriving at the destination is more than just having the map.” Judy Ryan, CEO LifeWork Systems   Manipulation has gotten a bad rap. We often feel insulted and become defensive when we or someone we love is described as...
Can Love Be Here Too?

Can Love Be Here Too?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” —Brené Brown As I work with clients on their personal and professional development or help friends and family who are working...
Mentoring to Develop Your People

Mentoring to Develop Your People

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin “Your most important task as a leader is to teach people how to think and ask the right questions so that the world doesn’t go to hell if you take a day off”  Jeffrey Pfeffer   In our culture transformation model, a key...
S.L.A.M. Say Less; Ask More

S.L.A.M. Say Less; Ask More

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” Edith Wharton, a novelist Many people confuse leading people with managing people and caring for or loving people with worry or concern for...
Why Ditch Annual Performance Appraisals

Why Ditch Annual Performance Appraisals

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“You can motivate by fear, and you can motivate by reward. But both of those methods are only temporary. The only lasting thing is self-motivation.” Homer Rice, a former American football player, coach, and college athletics...
Power Distance Index – Managing Relationships with Authority

Power Distance Index – Managing Relationships with Authority

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Some societies and religions have a tendency to expand the moral circle and to consider all humans as belonging to a single moral community.” Geert Hofstede, Social Psychologist I was re-reading Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers and...
The Path (Back) to Being Authentic

The Path (Back) to Being Authentic

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events. Great men have always done so, and confided themselves...
Honesty is the Best Policy – or is it?

Honesty is the Best Policy – or is it?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Failure of an employee to speak up in a crucial moment cannot be seen. This is true whether that employee is on the front lines of customer service or sitting next to you in the executive board room. And because not offering an...
Why Transparency CAN Become a Bloodbath

Why Transparency CAN Become a Bloodbath

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Killers aren’t always assassins. Sometimes, they don’t even have blood on their hands.”   ~ Ruta Sepetys, Author I once knew a school teacher who quit her job teaching 8th graders (which she loved) to work for my...
Managing Frustrations in a Frustrating World

Managing Frustrations in a Frustrating World

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Face challenges, fear, and frustration by seeking out knowledge and opportunities for growth.”  ~ Fanny Mairena Today’s leaders must be powerful without entering into the fray caused by frustration. They must refrain...
Discarding the Monster Box

Discarding the Monster Box

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“A man who picks up a cat by its tail will learn a lesson he can learn no other way.”     ~ Mark Twain Your business will improve if you remember some important facts. One is that we are all more alike than different. The other is...
Is Your Workplace Psychologically Safe?

Is Your Workplace Psychologically Safe?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“In general, only a child who feels safe dares to grow forward healthily. His safety needs must be gratified. He can’t be pushed ahead, because the ungratified safety needs will remain forever underground, always calling for...
Devil’s Advocate and Brutal Honesty

Devil’s Advocate and Brutal Honesty

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Never play the Devil’s Advocate. Your words could be the difference between success and failure in someone else.”  Ingrid Weir Too often I hear people say, “I’m going to play Devil’s advocate now” to which I quickly reply, “Please...
When You Can’t Help or Fix A Relationship

When You Can’t Help or Fix A Relationship

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinDon’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus. ~ Unknown Sometimes we keep going to the circus because we don’t realize that’s where we are. Someone recently asked, “what...
Your Secret Weapon: Informal Influencers

Your Secret Weapon: Informal Influencers

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinTo get these influencers to model the desired behaviour, you need their buy-in. Gather them together for a closed-door session and explain why their role is crucial. Often, it just takes an open conversation to help them understand...
Advantages of Cross-Functional Teamwork

Advantages of Cross-Functional Teamwork

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinOne of the biggest challenges leaders face, according to Deloitte, is organizational design. Specifically, redesigning their structures through teams. The line and block hierarchy found on a company org chart isn’t how work actually...
Emotional Presence: It’s Good Business!

Emotional Presence: It’s Good Business!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“The affairs of the heart are directly connected to the brain and it’s theheart’s natural intelligence that must be unfolded for the brain to operate with greater efficiency.”         Magical Child, Joseph...
Encouragement vs. Praise

Encouragement vs. Praise

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Humans need encouragement much like plants need water… We constantly encourage or discourage those around us and thereby contribute materially to their greater or lesser ability to function.” Rudolf Dreikurs, Author, Psychologist...
Loved AND Lovable

Loved AND Lovable

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”   Elizabeth Appell In my work, I help people take the risk to blossom. I tell business leaders, employees,...
Choose Helpful AND Harmless

Choose Helpful AND Harmless

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“It always seems impossible until it is done”   Nelson Mandela I often reflect on how many people are “checked out” at work, home, and school; they are suffering and barely surviving, rather than overcoming and...
Your Powerful Agreements

Your Powerful Agreements

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive –to be alive and express what we really are. Just being our self is the biggest fear of humans.” Don Miguel Ruiz  “There is no...
I Can’t be a Good Boss & a Friend too

I Can’t be a Good Boss & a Friend too

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“To power up the whole system involves learning to bring the heart and mind into a creative joint venture. Heart intelligence supplies balanced strength and allows more of one’s individual spirit — the passionate...
Cruelest Three Words: “Get Over It!”

Cruelest Three Words: “Get Over It!”

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“The purpose of all relationships is to create a sacred context within which you can express the fullness of who you are.” Neale Donald Walsh In my work, the greatest setbacks and arrested development of people is...
The Need for Patience & Reassurance

The Need for Patience & Reassurance

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“It’s not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even – or rather, especially – when...
“I’m Sorry You Feel That Way” – “I Never Intended That…”

“I’m Sorry You Feel That Way” – “I Never Intended That…”

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“If you own the story you get to write the ending.” Brene Brown   “We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.” George Bernard Shaw Why It’s Never Helpful to Say, “I’m Sorry...
What Does “I’m Right; You’re Wrong” Cost?

What Does “I’m Right; You’re Wrong” Cost?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Remember, we see the world not as it is but as we are. Most of us see through the eyes of our fears and our limiting beliefs and our false assumptions.” Robin S. Sharma “Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask...
You Make Sense & Deserve Compassion

You Make Sense & Deserve Compassion

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinEveryone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.   Unknown What if you knew every reaction (and even what you fear are over-reactions) you experience is based on legitimate reasons and deserves...
Conducting Business From The Heart

Conducting Business From The Heart

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinWhen I speak of heart in this article, I am referring specifically to our heart’s purpose, inspired from within, deeply stirring us, leading us to take actions that matter most to us. In my work with clients, I find that many don’t...
Books Worth Reading

Books Worth Reading

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Salvation is certainly among the reasons I read. Reading and writing have always pulled me out of the darkest experiences in my life. Stories have given me a place in which to lose myself. They have allowed me to remember. They...
Building Caring Connections

Building Caring Connections

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”   Theodore Roosevelt “Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact on people, brings happiness.”    Harold Kushner   I frequently...
Is Your Social Media Socially Intelligent?

Is Your Social Media Socially Intelligent?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinEnhance and Protect Your Brand and Reputation! Did you know, according to Jay Baer, marketing consultant and author, that: 42% of Americans who complain on social media expect a response within an hour? 24% expect a response within...
Rejuvenate Your Ho-Hum Meetings

Rejuvenate Your Ho-Hum Meetings

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Meeting people in a genuine way and feeling like there is a vital and meaningful connection going on makes me come alive.”       Sharon Salzberg, NY Times Best-Selling Author   Staff meetings provide your employees a unique...
Key to Your Joy: Honor Your Sensitivity

Key to Your Joy: Honor Your Sensitivity

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness…Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and...
Holding Others Accountable

Holding Others Accountable

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“The committed heart finds a way. The uncommitted heart finds an excuse.” Unknown Your daughter or son agrees to complete a chore and you arrive home only to find it incomplete once again. You ask one of your employees to contribute...
Your Blueprint for Constructing Success

Your Blueprint for Constructing Success

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”                                                ...
Being Trustworthy Isn’t Building Trust

Being Trustworthy Isn’t Building Trust

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” Stephen R. Covey I teach and consult on the importance of the following eight...
1. Straightforwardness: Dare I Tell it Like It Is?

1. Straightforwardness: Dare I Tell it Like It Is?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinThe most important relationship to manage is with our self. A trustworthy person practices honesty, straightforwardness, respect, receptivity, recognition, keeping commitments, seeking excellence and disclosure, the eight values...
2. Honesty: Don’t Play Others, Don’t Play You!

2. Honesty: Don’t Play Others, Don’t Play You!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“When you face a choice between being polite and being honest, err on the side of the truth. It’s better to be disliked but respected than to be liked and disrespected. In the long run, the people we trust the most are those who...
3. Receptivity: Are You Receptive?

3. Receptivity: Are You Receptive?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Receptivity and sensitiveness are what makes one’s behavior endearing and enriching. Do not try to thrust your likes and dislikes on others. Try instead, to find out what those around would expect from you and where you can...
4. Disclosure: Will You Show Us Who YOU Are?

4. Disclosure: Will You Show Us Who YOU Are?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.” Brené Brown, Author, Speaker   I teach eight values needed to build trust: honesty, straightforwardness, respect, receptivity, recognition, keeping commitments, seeking...
5. Respect: Valuing Unconditionally

5. Respect: Valuing Unconditionally

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinRespect is making the needs, perspectives and feelings of others as important as your own. A win/lose dynamic has gone on for many years and still continues today. Evidence of this shows up in our relationships between unions and...
6. Recognition: Why is Recognition Important To Trust?

6. Recognition: Why is Recognition Important To Trust?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”...
7. Follow-Through: Do I Mean What I Say?

7. Follow-Through: Do I Mean What I Say?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“Intent without action will leave every word that I use to describe my intent as empty and best never said.”  Craig D. Lounsbrough   Imagine you ask someone to do something and they agree. You count on it, and then come to find...
How Do I Deal With That Annoying Person?

How Do I Deal With That Annoying Person?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.” Mark Twain   You know that person who cracks a joke at an inopportune moment? Taps their pen on the conference room desk? Stands...
Reasons We Gossip & What To Do Instead

Reasons We Gossip & What To Do Instead

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“How would your life be different if…You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day…You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.” Steve Maraboli, Author, Life, the...
Who Do You Think You Are?!

Who Do You Think You Are?!

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinEver encounter those people you feel like asking, “Who died and made you God?” You resist supporting them, thinking and saying anything nice about or to them and even if you don’t generally gossip, they’re the ones you’re most...
How to Emotionally Handle Terminations

How to Emotionally Handle Terminations

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinby Julia Paulus (referencing Judy Ryan and LifeWork Systems) SBM, March 2010 Getting fired is obviously difficult for an employee. But firing someone is also hard for owners and managers – probably one of the hardest things they...
Can a Team-Hater Engage Employees?

Can a Team-Hater Engage Employees?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinby Julia Paulus (referencing Judy Ryan and LifeWork Systems) SBM, March 2010 I don’t like teams.  Back in school, I hated classes when we had to do group projects.  My group was always the one where a couple of people did nothing...
Game-Changing Appreciative Inquiry

Game-Changing Appreciative Inquiry

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinImagine two scenarios both involving a couple struggling in their relationship and seeking marriage counseling. In the first instance, the couple is asked questions centering on their problems, including their origin and possible...
What Does it Take to Build Trust?

What Does it Take to Build Trust?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinI’ve delivered many team building workshops to corporations, schools and parent groups in which I focus on the behaviors that build trust and those that don’t. One behavior destructive to any team is gossip and part of my program is...
Shift Enemies To Friends

Shift Enemies To Friends

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinHave you ever met someone you felt completely in sync with? Entrainment is a term used to express how the human body assumes a sympathetic response to stimuli much the way scientists have discovered that two heart cells put together...
Pause, Breathe and Check In

Pause, Breathe and Check In

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinThich Nhat Hahn, a well- known author and Buddhist monk says we are reluctant to visit the home of our self because we are loath to face the pain, sadness and fear we might encounter there. It’s true those emotions are often...
The Biggest Loser

The Biggest Loser

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinThe show “The Biggest Loser” is very popular. In it we see men and women who are determined to make monumental changes and are willing to embrace new habits and significant personal discomfort to do so. When I recently...
I Want.  What Will I Do?

I Want. What Will I Do?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinWhat do I want and what am I willing to do? These are powerful questions that make up the internal dialog of those who have embraced intrinsic motivation; the process of identifying and expressing what one most loves. These are...
Commitment

Commitment

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all...
Did You Hear What I Meant to Say?

Did You Hear What I Meant to Say?

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedinHave you ever thought you had an agreement or understanding with someone only to find you didn’t? You thought you were clear and direct in a request, and ended up disappointed. Or have you responded to a request, only to find...
Dismantling Bullying Systems

Dismantling Bullying Systems

Share this...FacebookTwitterLinkedin(The story in this article may be an example involving students, but the message for the workplace is just as relevant) “As long as victims and bullies see themselves in diametrically opposed positions, (and they will if we...